Today we are going to talk about kindness. I will be starting with a story:
This morning I had a doctors appointment, while I was waiting to check in behind two other people an old woman and her daughter were behind me. They were chatting away about who knows what when another receptionist appeared. Now, I was right in the middle of the two but unmistakably next. Without even hesitating the old woman BEHIND me threw her checkbook down right next to me and inched next to my side to check in with the nurse.
Yeah. Yeeeeeah. This really happened.
Now don't come to me saying that I need to respect my elders because I DO. I will hold doors open, I will “sir” and “ma’am” them until the cows come home- but I will not WILL NOT tolerate rudeness no matter what your age is. Before you say anything in this woman's defense know this: when I looked at the checkbook and then back to her signaling that I was aware of what she was attempting she REFUSED to make eye contact with me. Which looks so awkward anyway because I'm legit RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, IN FRONT OF WHERE YOU NEED TO BE.
-deep breath in- deep breath out-
Well one of the women behind the desk saw what happened and told me she would just check me in and I could sit down. I thanked her and smiled at the old chick (NOT a snotty smile I promise until what happened next…) and sat in one of the waiting area chairs. Well lo and behold she and her daughter picked the chairs across from me and I started to feel like someone was watching me. Someone was! Not God. This olden- who was not only WATCHING me but giving me looks like I shot her cat.
Did I know who she was? I sure did not.
I only had to sit for a few minutes of discomfort before I was called to my room, but it really tightened my gears that it had happened.
Look guys, life is short okay? I have no time for haters old or newborn (babies love me though so I don't have to worry about that). I get that there could be something about me that you don't like and I’M okay with that. There are too many people on this earth and you don't HAVE to like everyone. That being said, that DOES NOT give you the right to be without civility. I will be the kindest I can to anyone that is rude to me up to a point. Why openly dislike someone so much that you make them uncomfortable? Does that feel good to you? Does that actually make you happy? If so:
1. That's way unfortunate… Like waaaaaaaaaay unfortunate
2. That's embarrassing… Since we are all put on this earth the same way…
3. You need a new hobby. Idea: instead of making people uncomfortable how about you take up knitting? Maybe running? Anything that makes you less of a douche? Hmm…
4. Realize that underneath the words and skin colors and tattoos and crazy hair we are all the same. I didn't crawl out from a swamp, and you didn't drop from the sky. Angels did not bring you to your mothers doorstep, in fact 8 hours of labor and lightening bolt style contractions did so…
I know there has been so much going on in the world about love and hate. I am constantly stating the same thing over and over, “retrain your brain.” It's not an easy thing to do but acceptance is the best way to start.
Part of the way to do this is cut all the negativity out of your life- I'm so serious. It sounds impossible but it's actually so easy. Any time there is a post about racial or sexual intolerance I unfriend that person. I don't need that in my life.
Spoiler alert: neither do you
I don't go places where I know I'll run into people that make me uncomfortable and where I may hear something super offensive.
Nor do I go to parties or gatherings if there are going to be people there that I don't like. That's so silly! Walking into a place that hosts people I don't want to see… Why? Why would anyone do that?! Do you think you're making someone happy?
Well here is a tip: be selfish. It's okay. Say no.
Start surrounding yourself with people who care about you. There is such a difference between people that take comfort in your presence and those that enjoy it. You don't need to go with someone that only asks if you'll come out to be the sober driver, or because you'll bring cool people. When people genuinely want to go on adventures with you it won't just be on weekends it will be any time, and it'll be great.
Find your inner child. This is a huge step in retraining your brain. Find the child that you have lost through years of wear and tear on your soul. That childlike innocence that we all still want to have towards some aspects of life is still in there. You have just got to find it. But how?
Best part ACT LIKE A KID
Now please don't run into the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese and tackle a bunch of kids because you ARE actually an adult and there ARE serious consequences for that. You can hike, climb trees, swing on a swing set, color in a coloring book, do arts and crafts, dance around like a freak to loud music do anything that makes you laugh and happy. Your inner child is part of YOU and in order to take care of yourself, your inner child must be fed.
Once you start finding your peace and joy it is so easy to retrain your brain. You will want to radiate kindness instead of harboring hatred and anger and resentment. Where you wanted to lash out at someone, you'll find yourself thinking “they must be having a bad day, I hope it gets better!” When I deal with rude old women or young girls for whatever reason they have against me I just say inside, “that's okay, people love me and I don't know them so their opinion doesn't matter.”
This week try and be kind and understanding. Yeah sometimes I want to start an old fashioned flaming torch mob too but it's way too much energy. Instead, take a deep breath and think “hey man, it's cool. We don't know each other at all it's okay not to like me.” Because there are TONS of people that do and will not hesitate to tell you!
Til Next Week Kittens!
Xoxo Jess
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