Sunday, January 24, 2016
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Say that you love... YOU
Same 'Ol Love
Being an ametuer unrecognized song writer you spend a lot of time trying to find your sound and style by listening to music.
Do I sound fancy? I'm not.
Promise.
I've listened to all kinds new and old, hoping for some inspiration and new sound when I started to notice a trend. No matter the beat, the most successful trending songs were about shitty dudes or shitty relationships or both of those things happening at the same time.
DUDE why we are okay with bad relationships? Because T Swift and Selena Gomez tell us they've been there too and it's alright? Maybe we won't all have snappy tunes about the guy that didn't show up on the date he planned or that one who hid you from his family because he wasn't actually divorced. Although I could, I feel like a redundant message about bad dudes over and over and over would even bore me- it DID bore me. I wrote about that all the time in my 6th grade journals. They'd put Ms. Swift to shame.
T swift
Plus I don't want to be part of the idea of looking back and focusing on humans that broke my heart.
Why are we so ready to settle for guys that we can plainly tell will hurt us? Because it's the new norm to try and date someone that we hope can change? Do you think it's because we grew up with deep dimple chin bad boys with actual hearts of gold for the right girl?
Is that what makes us stay- we want to be HER.
"He was a dick but I'll love him anyway because I may just be the exception to the rule."
"He's cheated on everything he's ever dated but he probably won't do that with me because he says so."
Don't you see how ridiculous that is? Humans are creatures of habit. If he's being a sack of crap to you, he's completely aware. The hardest lesson I've ever learned is a direct quote from He's Just Not That Into You and it is this:
"if a guy wants to date you, he would."
IT IS LITERALLY THAT SIMPLE.
I legit need you to stop and realize IT IS ACTUALLY THAT SIMPLE.
If he wanted to be with you, he would make time. If he wanted to text you back, he would. If he really wanted you, he'd come get YOU. So zip up your cookies and let him chase you. If he doesn't it's his loss.
It's sad to me that nice guys finish last. I almost turned down one of the best relationships I've had because he wanted to take me on a genuine first date- but I thought he wanted to kill me or something. Good dates aren't normal. Netflix and chill is normal now... Stop it.
You see all these quotes about what a good woman consists of and how she stays by her mans side no matter what. To me that doesn't make you a good woman, it makes you a pushover.
The new year is here and I wish we could all just take an oath to love ourselves and put US first. No more hiding behind faux ignorance, no more being too afraid to ask the questions that have been bothering you for days, weeks, or months. Be in love, go ahead- but love yourself more.
Maybe then we won't cry in our cars to Adele and Sam Smith on the way to work or lock ourselves in our rooms after our heartbreak listening to Mariah Carey's "Always be my baby".
Maybe then writers and male artists won't make tons and tons of money on songs about being a good man and a sweet guy when they are most likely hooking up with 17 different chicks in each city of their tour... Or they are dating models that knock everyone out of the water. Those are our two options here.
Yikes am I becoming cynical?
... Maybe.
Woof.
I know there are nice guys out there. I believe in that. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone that'll make them feel complete. I think that it is true that every guy can change when the right person comes along- but the problem is every girl wants to be that person.
I also know before I jump back into the deep dark pool of other fish in the sea I want to make sure my backbone is nice and strong and so is my self esteem. (and my water wings are inflated...)
It's alright though. I've still written two or four songs, about shitty relationships: "F**k this love" and "Love Me (Say That You Love Me)" which is all about vocally kicking your exes in the nads. It's great and empowering, but I'd rather kick my exes in the nads than take them back and let them hurt me again.
At the end of it all, relationships DO matter. The ones you have with your friends, your partners, and most importantly yourself. You're worth more than a repeating broken heart. We all are.
Yours Truly til Next Time,
Jess
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
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